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  The 708th DOGS hash ever

  Nov 10, 2023

   November 10th 2023 Izakaya 
   THE HARE: Search and Rescue Dog  PACK: 14 
   EXPECTATIONS: to eat Unagi  Weather: WET!!! 
   Scribe: MCD 

   The 708th DOGS hash ever 

   Attendees: 
   MCD, Horny hound, St(c), Smcb, Hare of the dog, Putin's Poisonous Poodle, Leroy search  and rescue, RPL, Iron Bitch, Neutered Dog 

   The Start: 
   I arrived at the bash to find the hare, RPL and HH supping beers, so I dropped my stuff i nside and waited for the rest of the chaps to arrive. Surprising enough even PPP arrived  before the run start, Neutered Dog being the only late cummer, but he had no intention of  trying to find true trail anyway, so the hare took us into a dark alleyway and explained the  marks, or lack of due to the rain, and off we set.( I had been given some private instructions, j ust in case!) 

   The Run: 

   The runners set off, heading East on Yongjia Lu, surprisingly, quickly finding marks. We  followed these until Maoming Lu where they disappeared, only to reappear on the trail I had  set 3 weeks ago. Now we’re following half my marks and half the actual marks. Through the  Intercontinental, out on Ruijing and into some cool alleyways (definitely not my marks now).  We ran around the back alleyways for a bit, then down to Fuxing Park. Amazingly enough  the pack was all still together at this point. We ran through the park, no marks, and out of the  main entrance This was where my special instructions came into play. I was told at this point,  “turn left”, so left I turned, no marks. Putin went straight, someone else went right but to no  avail. This was where the pack split. I decided to take the guys on a tour of the parks and the  new “Xintiandi” area by Nanjing Rd. We ran by Found 158, where SMC…B decided to stop  and take a shit, Putin had gone on one of his mad half marathons somewhere and Iron Bitch  had collapsed somewhere on trail. Now it was just Hare of the Dog, STC and myself. We  wended our way through the New “Xintiandi” area, with a fat Bao’an shouting at us to stop  running, but was too fat to chase us, and lucky for us, came out opposite Love Shanghai.  We stopped for a beer and had a chat with the owner before heading back towards home. A  decent 9km trail, nicely done. 

   The Circle: 

   So the hare decided we should have the circle in the same alley where he gave the chalk  talk. Noone wanted to run the circle, the VM being the hare couldn't, and the HM is still  missing, may he rest in peace. Eventually Iron Bitch stepped up and we started the  proceedings. SMC…B appointed himself Beer Bitch and the hare was called in. This was  when the first delivery driver appeared. We made a hole, let him through then started again.  Then a second driver appeared from the other direction, we made a hole, then started again,  then the third, fourth, fifth etc, etc. We realised we were on the main thoroughfare for food  deliveries so moved further into the alley. Once we’d gathered our thoughts, we were off  again. A couple of charges were made, a bit of restrained laughter and “ shut up, leave this  place, take your stinking foreign covid faces away” was called from a nearby window. Yes we  had offended a local girl by being loud foreign devils, she probably couldn’t hear the Korean  TV show she was watching. We moved back to the first location, only to be run down by ever  more delivery guys. Then someone had the brilliant idea to move the circle over the road,  outside the refuse collection station. We started again, a few charges were levvied but now  we were in a bit of a competition. The local lady in charge of the refuse collectors was  shouting instructions to mer minions, so whoever was giving charges had to speak a little l ouder to hear over her, then she had to do the same. Eventually she decided to call all of  her workforce out and have her own circle. Now we have 2 circles going, us and them. They  had the bigger circle by far, but they all looked thoroughly miserable whereas we were all  having fun. I think eventually she figured out that she had neither the wit or the energy to  compete, and dispatched her staff accordingly. We showed them rah rah rah!!! 

   The Bash: 

   Japanese, awesome. Much food was ordered, including Unagi, my favourite. Beers were  ordered in huge mugs poured into smaller mugs that became just foam, and fun was had by  all. No Saki was consumed, sorry LLB, but we still managed to overspend by 400 RMB (I  have literally just been asked by Hash Cash for an extra 60), but it was absolutely worth it.  Awesome job, great DOGS. 

   

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