Oct 26, 2023
The 706th DOGS hash ever
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names, Familiar in his mouth as household words— MCD, Dino and SMC…B,
Dingo and RPL, Horny Hound, Putin,—
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be rememberèd—
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in Shanghai now a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That ran with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
Rah Rah Rah!!!!!!!!!
Yes expectations were indeed high on this holiest of holy days. St Crispin, our favourite Saint, after George, Patrick, David, Roch and Andrews, has his day but once per year, and as such the celebrations are gargantuan. I believe it may even be a public holiday in Papua New Guinea, although that may just be a rumour I’m trying to start.
I laid the trail, discovering along the way that some of the Covid insanity still remained. Angry Boa’ans refusing to let the foreigner through, gates that previously weren’t there had appeared and a few other random annoyances, but in general, not so bad. As I got to the end I bumped into a confused looking Hong Kong Phooey, so I guided him, via a beer stop, to the start.
We met at the iconic Pushkin Statue, site of many a debauched DOGs legend. A big turnout, as expected, with a couple of new DOGS to be named later. I believe it was 14-15 chaps, which coincidentally is the actual number of English men who went to France in 1415 and beat 10,000 froggies! I asked if anyone wanted a beer and 14 hands went up, so I went to the local shop and grabbed a load of cans, gave the run instructions, and they were off.
“Best run ever”, “That must have been set by the hand of God directly”, “How is it even possible to set such a fantastical trail in downtown Puxi”, were just a few of the comments I didn’t hear said about the run.
Dingo and I waited at A to guard the bags so I didn’t see what actually happened on trail, but a few of the highlights from what I’ve been told.
Putin started as a walker, proudly telling Horny Hound that “I’m so fast I can catch these i mperialist pigs and still come first even if I walk the fist 500 metres”, a bold statement i ndeed. Sharpoo decided he would take control of the beer stop asking the chaps who wanted a brew, 14 hands went up, he went into the convenience store and came back with 1 bottle of water, I’m not sure he got the concept. One gate was locked which meant finding alternate routes, I assume this was an issue for Iron Bitch after the previous evenings Locked gate, Lorraine was apparently chasing down young chicks in dark alleyways and I did see Horny Hound run for the first time ever, trying to beat an old, clearly blind and senile, woman on a bike. Strange.
The runners started coming in at 8:10, well, most of them. Some time after, the speed devil Putin came blundering down the road followed Iron Bitch and Tank Dog. A perfect 8km trail!
I went back to the shop and emptied the rest of the beer stocks, which lasted approximately 10 minutes, so SMC…B and Putin had to find another shop to empty of brewskies.
SMC…B decided to take control of the proceedings, we’ve not seen our HM or VM since the AGM. Froggy and no name Neil were appointed beer bitches and duly greased. I was several beers in by this point, so I don’t really remember the charges, but there were lots. Much beer was consumed, lots of rah rah rah-ing, announcements and all that good stuff. All i n all, a job well jobbed.
We headed to Abbey Road where I had secured the whole front room just for the DOGS. We quickly established that no one was allergic to cheese or burgers or beer, so we ordered 14 cheese burgers and beers, easy really. The hasher formally known as Froggie Fiddler was renamed Lorraine (I have no idea) and no name Neil was officially named Hair of the Dog. I’m sure we blew the budget but as previously stated, St Crispin's Day happens but once per year.
Next Week’s Run:
SMC…B will set another epic trail from Cactus Bar, near Changping Lu. Details to follow
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