Halloween Run #707

    November 2nd 2023 Cactus Bar 
     PACK: 14 
     EXPECTATIONS: To Eat Pizza 
     Weather: Incredibly warm for this time of year  Scribe: MCD 

     The 707th DOGS hash ever 

     MCD, Horny hound, St(c), Smcb, Seeing eye dog, Thomas tank, Hare of the dog, Short l eash bitch, Putin's Poisonous Poodle, Leroy search and rescue, RPL, Hong Kong Phooey  Dogzilla & Iron bitch 

    The Start: 
     I arrived at the station pretty early to find Thomas Tank Dog wandering around aimlessly  trying to find the bar. When we got to Cactus,  a whole bunch of DOGS were already a few  beers in by the look of it. DZ told me he’d already been there an hour and was going to walk,  rather than run, due to a recent surgery, after which his doctor had instructed him “no food or  running, you can only drink beer”. I think his doctor might have been Corgi Sperm. 
    The hashers kept arriving until 14 eager chaps had gathered, ready for the off! 
    The hare arrived, not in police custody this time, so all was good. 

    The Run: 

     The runners set off heading west, down an alley to the first check. I solved that but then completely missed the left turn down the next alley, which allowed the rest of the pack to  catch up. The police station at the end of that alley meant that no marks were seen for a  while allowing Dogzilla to get to be FRB, as a walker!! 
    We carried on, wending our way to the alleys behind the gas station in the old British concession. The check there caused some confusion with Hare of the Dog missing the mark completely. I re-checked his direction (as it was obviously the right way) and sure enough,  found trail. I decided to save him embarrassment by not calling 🙂 
    A few more troublesome checks sorted out most of the other runners, who indeed  shortcutted, leaving only Putin, HotD and MCD on true trail. As we ran down by the creek,  the trail turned sharply right down to a back track. I slowed down at this point to make sure  PPP and HotD did the “Oh Shit”, while I continued straight, far ahead by this point. I solved,  and marked, being the gentleman that I am, the next check, allowing the chaps to catch up.  At the final check, we all went different directions, HotD finding the true trail. Running the  final stretch, we got to the last corner, HotD seeing the out-trail mark, started to go the wrong  way, allowing me to marginally WIN THE HASH!! Rah Rah Rah. 

     A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.  “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says,  “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into  their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the  mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina.  That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but  the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth.  What do you get when you do that?” “Jewellery, my dear. Jewellery.” 

     The Circle: 

     When we arrived at Cactus, HKP and STC were already there, drinking beer, proclaiming to  be

    FRB’s, having completed probably ⅔ of the trail…hmmm, and it looked like all the  walkers were back. As I sat outside the bar waiting for the VM to start the circle, I had a  strange feeling we were missing someone. Horny Hound was adamant all 13 of us were  back. “I thought we were 14,” said I. “nope” insisted HH. I deferred to his senior judgement,  realising quite a bit later that Dogzilla was indeed missing. We figured this shouldn’t stop the  show so the VM called the circle to start. The hare went to get beers, the chaps circled, the  old women danced and all was good with the world. This was the VM’s first official running of  the circle (the HM mysteriously disappeared after the AGM, may he rest in peace). He asked  for volunteers for Beer Bitch, a rookie mistake! Quickly realising that wasn’t going to happen,  he appointed Short Leash Bitch, who was duly greased. 
    Several charges for the hare, allegations, both true and false were levied against the runners  and walkers, and eventually Dogzilla even showed up, after what turned out to be a massive  trail using every mode of transport known to man, other than running that is. This has so far been the warmest November on record, so not surprisingly, the hare made 3  trips to replenish beer stocks, all of which were gnarfled instantly, a very thirsty pack indeed.  The circle was called to a close and we all staggered to Cactus for supper. 

    The Bash:

     We headed back to Cactus and, as the only people there, we demanded they drag all the  tables together for us. SMC…B ordered a load of excellent Topolino pizzas, no veggies or  fruit, and a pint of Estrella each. Hash Cash forgot to bring the DOGS tabasco, but luckily I  managed to forage a bottle for the deep dark recesses of the bar. 
    Much fun was had, much beer was drunk, rah rah rah! 


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